My Top 10 Tips to Surviving Australia:

Thought I wanted to share with you all “My Top 10 Tips to Surviving Australia”.

Things I have learned in 10 months of being in Australia:

1. Don't ever put your hand down a hole for any reason WHATSOEVER.
2. The beer is stronger than you think, regardless of how strong you think it is.
3. Always carry a stick.
4. Air-conditioning is imperative.
5. Do not attempt to use Australian slang, unless you are a trained linguist and extremely good in a fist fight.
6. Wear thick socks.
7. Take good maps. Stopping to ask directions only works when there are people nearby.* If you leave the urban areas, carry several litres of water with you at all times, or you will die.
8. Even in the most embellished stories told by Australians, there is always a core of truth that it is unwise to ignore.
9. There is no such thing as “shrimps on the baaarbie”.
10. Do not, under any circumstances, suggest that the beer is imperfect, unless you are comparing it to another kind of Australian beer.
11. Do not wear a Hawaiian shirt.

Bonus Tips:

Religion and Politics are fairly safe topics of conversation, (Australians don't care too much about either) but Sport is a minefield. You better say you love Footy.

The only correct answer to "So, howdya' like our country, eh?" is "Best (insert your own regional swear word here) country in the world!". It is very likely that, on arriving, some cheerful Australians will 'adopt' you on your first night, and take you to a pub where Australian Beer is served.

Despite the obvious danger, do not refuse. It is a form of initiation rite. You will wake up late the next day with an astonishing hangover, a foul taste in your mouth, and wearing strange clothes.

Your hosts will usually make sure you get home, and waive off any legal difficulties with "It's his first time in Australia, so we took him to the pub", or “He is Canadian not American” to which the policeman will sagely nod and close his notebook. Be sure to tell the story of these events to every other Australian you encounter, adding new embellishments at every stage and noting how strong and tasty the beer was. Thus you will be accepted into this unique culture. Mention footy and you will be idolized.

Most Australians are now urban dwellers, having discovered the primary use of electricity, which is air-conditioning and refrigerators.

Typical Australian sayings:-
* "G'Day!"* "She'll be right mate."

So, hats off to this beautiful part of the world and "She'll be right mate." :)

Chris Bjorklund